Turd in a box.

Bit cryptic Nick-you found one? Or has your good lady discovered you were the winning bidder for the 20k+ Dalek?

Ah, Royston, funnily enough I have just been reading about the Bonhams sale and was here to post some links. Here's one: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1253515/Doctor-Who-auction-exterminates-recession-props-sell-thousands.html

I've yet to see the full list of winning bids. hold on.... The Sea Devil went for (to my mind, 'only') £2,040! I'd have killed to own that! And the Pyramids of Mars sarcophagus a more portly £4,800. Ditto, though I imagine Sinead would have had something to say. And wonderful as the object is, that price hardly feels like 'a snip'. Royston, your bronto fetched (to my mind, 'a bonkers') £1,320. Odd given that it looked like it would fall apart if stared at by Paddington.

Here's the full list: http://www.bonhams.com/cgi-bin/public.sh/pubweb/publicSite.r?sContinent=EUR&screen=ResultsXML&iSaleNo=18192

Sob.

PS I can tell you have not read Harrison Dextrose. Shame on you!

Mrs Dextrose update

Just passed the 30,000-word mark. Plan is to write between 65 and 70K - ideal for a comic novel, I was told by someone who knows. Deadline: mid-April. Lordy, but it's going to be tight.

I can imagine the joy of the collector pitching up to collect his prized Brontopurchase 'Here you are Sir in five boxes and one envelope as we think we got most of the rest up when we swept the floor.Oh and please observe the 'dont touch it for christssakes' recommendation on the certificate of sale.'

"...and - ahem - that'll be £1,320 please! [snigger]"

Just rewatched a very amusing film that contains one of my fave ever exchanges:

"What do you remember about the canals from those days?"

"Very little."

Anyone?

Would that be '24 Hour Party People'? Very enjoyable but not nearly as good as 'Control' or the actual Joy Division documentary film.

Here's one back:

"I'm a brother Seamus!".

"What? Like an Irish monk?!?".

Over to you...

Withnail?

Ade, most correct (though I must disagree re Control, which I enjoyed very much, however I prefer the funnier 24Hr PP). Royston, for you ze wooden spoon - but do not be downhearted; as the chef in our family, I use a wooden spoon on almost a daily basis, and would not turn my nose up at a new one. So think on.

Sorry, forgot your quote, Ade (as explained previously, once I start to input my own text I can't see anything previously written, which is no boon given my memory). Anyway, the Seamus quote... I'm afraid has me stumped. Anyone else?

.....Jeff Bridges....the Big Lebowski.....Dude....

..."Chocolate covered cotton"...easy.

PS Hi, Mal.

I only rewatched that about a month ago! So how come I didn't remember it? (Rhetorical.)

The wooden spoon would be handy as I too do the cooking-Sunday lucnh was pan fried pheasant breats, shittake mushrooms in butter, with sweet potato mash.

God, we're all so metrosexual.

http://blogtorwho.blogspot.com/2010/03/james-corden-confirms-who-role.html

Christ, I can't bear James Corden. Oooh look at his tummy! Hear him squeal! Look, he's kissing a man! Tosser.

Nah cooked it after I doused myself in Brut aftershave, idly inking in my 'Death or Glory' tattoo, talking to my mates on the phone about footie and while slapping She Who Must...for not doing the ironing. All man me.

Who is James Corden btw?

Nice work, Royston (including not knowing who James Corden is). He's in Gaving and Stacey and the gut-wrenchingly unfunny Corden and Horne (whom I have time for) "sketch" "show". Right, I'm off to slap a rabbit.

I have Wikipedia's How To of the Day on my iGoogle homepage and used to laugh at them and occasionally read them, until I got bored. Until today! I'm not going to click on the link because it may well be genuinely practical. Just savour the title:

How to Keep Car Windows Fog Free Using a Potato

Hi Nick. Would that be like 'How To Defend Yourself Against Someone Armed With A Banana'? The Pythons would be so pleased if it was...

Totally agree re: James Corden. As a somewhat rotund gentleman myself he does us no favours whatsoever! As for that sketch show he did with his mate - Dear oh dear!

Right then, I'm off down the park after a long day chinning cows to drink meths & Cherry B, scream at passersby & fight my own reflection coz I'm right bastard hard, I am!

I may be able to topthe banana idea with Wiki's genuine How To of today. They seem to be currently mining a richly bonkers vein. Ready?

11 Tips for Managing Hayfever as a Buddhist

"Facebook wants to be your one true login"

Enjoyed the user comments in this story: http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/blog/2010/feb/11/facebook-readwriteweb

Just received this from the Who PR people:

London, 8 March 2010: It has been announced today that Doctor Who will begin an exciting national tour across the UK in March, introducing the new Doctor to fans of the series in five different locations spanning the length and breadth of the British Isles.

The tour will introduce the Eleventh Doctor, Matt Smith, and his Companion, Karen Gillan, to fans of the show and offer them a unique chance to meet the stars. Each location will also host a regional premiere of episode one, The Eleventh Hour, for local children, working alongside BBC Outreach to enable kids to get a first look at the new Doctor in action.

Click on the blue spot for the full PR.

Anyone else found the new 'eye of the storm' trailer a bit pants? I know it is intended to be viewed in 3d, but it looks a bit crap on terrestrial.

What? This one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKGlpdNParM

Would concur!

National Tour my foot - they're only visiting 5 towns - and none of them are near me!! *sulks*

Nope its the one that is also on the cover of this months mag.

Was being silly.

Big in China

Just signed a rights agreement to allow the Daredevil Book for Cats to be published in China by the (state-owned) Radio & Television Publishing House. Will be in Chinese script. Cool!

Thought you were going to say 'Big in Japan'. Great news Nick and cheered me up after a bloody awful Monday.

Why, thank you, Royston. I hope your Wednesday is proving far lovelier.

Just spotted a new Amazon review of WGT - the first in almost a year - by one Dark Paths, whom I swear is not related. It's a very welcome shot it the arm, so thank you kindly, DP. This is it:

Quite simply, one of the best Doctor Who books available. The author wanders the English landscape, looking for Doctor Who film locations, with mixed results; sometimes funny, other times tragic and frustrating. The 'in-between' text, about the authors long suffering family is a delight, as all serious Who fans know how annoying we can be, especially when we sense the 'others' just don't get what makes the show so special. The 'everyman' prose is a great alternative to the nauseating waffle of the RTD books ("marvellous, brilliant, splendid, hurrah!"). There are no such pretensions here. Buy it, read it, love it...and then get on the road and have the adventure yourself! P.s. Nick, can we have a sequel? Pleeeaaaseeee.

World's Most Interesting Thing

I have some wallpaper samples for you... No, wait! Come back! THEY'RE PART OF TELEVISION AND FILM HISTORY! One raggedy piece was sent to me by correspondent Dave Edwards, who took the pics inside Fields House (see page 19a of the WGT website) - and it's a piece of wallpaper off that Blink wall, the very stuff that Sally Sparrow ripped back. I know. The other, a smaller square, I acquired myself from one of the upstairs rooms at Sleddale Hall in Cumbria, none other than Crow Grag itself, in Withnail & I. Click the papery link atop the pics (right) and you can see them in all their "glory". Form an orderly queue, now.

Just added a link to preorder Looking for Mrs Dextrose. Slightly ashamed of my cover design, however means the actual cover can only be an improvement. If you'd like to follow the writing of Mrs Dextrose, plus other occasional snippets from Nick Towers (more of a bungalow), on Twitter, hit the monkey. (Love the monkey.) I'm almost 45,000 words into Mrs D and feel the anticipation building. So I'd better get on and finish it...

Love this story (possibly because I can't bear any of the people involved in it, and they all come out looking pathetic). http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1257757/Dwarfgate-5ft-5in-Sarkozys-fury-6ft-Cameron-5ft-11in-Osborne-mock-size.html?ITO=1708&referrer=yahoo

So many lines are great but this is perhaps my fave:

'The jibes, made over a period of three days, led to...'

Over three days! As Vic Reeves was once wont to say, "You wouldn't let it liiiiiiiiie!"

Today's Wiki How To of the Day:

Six Ways to be More Thankful.

Number 6 is: Keep a Gratitude Journal.

Shudder.

But an 'Ingratitude Journal' is soo much more helpful.

I already keep a list of ingrates (started it in '72) and they will know who they are when the time comes.

* chokes on scone *

Karen Gillan's been doing some modelling. Just hope she doesn't wear that lot in any 'running through corridor' scenes. Click on the pic queue thumb. (Had to demote the wallpaper pics, sorry. Complaints on a postcard.)

Hello everybody!!! Karen Gillan? Personally prefer this photo... http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/anorak-city/karengillan.png

Amy's on-screen outfits are frightening enough, in terms of (a) skirts being so short it'd be more accurate to call them belts and worrying in terms of her running in them, (b) not containing sufficient material to keep her warm in the worst winter we've had for 30 years!

But she has got lovely legs!

Welcome back, Dave. Let me just check out that link... * splutters mouthful of tea over passing nun * Bloody hell! And Michele was worried enough about her - with a skirt on! She'll catch her death, etc. (And I think we can assume the wholesome, butter-wouldn't-melt, BBC-cagoule image of the serving companion is about to be revised.)

The poor girl appears to have fallen over *stampedes to administer help to the damsel in distress*

People do the funniest things!!! http://bit.ly/aNIHcT

LMD Update

The wife and bairn just back from Qatar, after a week during which I could burn both ends on Mrs Dextrose. Current word count: just shy of 54,000. I'd guess another 15K or so to go. Having picked up said wife and bairn from Heathrow, which involved getting up at 5am - 5am - and insomnia until nearly 3, am too fuzzy-headed to write today. In fact, I feel unusual. I think I should go outside.

5 a.m? luxurious lie in as far as I'm concerned. And the lack of wife explains the sudden lurch to 'adventurous' photos of the new assistant posted/linked hereupon. Ooh I hope she doesn't check this blog....

* coughs, posts something innocuous * http://is.gd/aP8qs